Mary and Susan were friends for years. They grew up together and
attended the same schools. They were now both in their 40's, and both
had great careers.
They both had a similar upbringing - same education,
same family values, similar support and financial position. But there
was one main difference. Mary never seemed to have enough time. She
watched her life long friend Susan. She had similar responsibilities
and interests. Susan had a career, she had three children, she had her
hobbies, one of which included golf. Over lunch, Susan was telling Mary
about the golf game that she played last weekend.
"Susan, where
do you find the time to play golf?" asked Mary. "I never seem to have
the time, now with the children older and doing there own thing I
thought I would have time to play golf like we did when we were in
college."
Susan looked at Mary and laughed, "Mary, we both have the same hours in a day. You do have the time to play golf!"
With
a sigh Mary replied, "That's easy for you to say. I never seem to have
time. My work takes so much of my time. I am in the office at 7:30, I
leave at 6:30 in the evening. By the time I get home and have dinner,
it is 8:00! And, then I usually have a briefcase full of work. The
weekends are full of more work. Just to keep up, I have to put in the
hours. You know what it is like!"
"Of course, I know what it is like," Mary said. "But what would happen tomorrow if you got sick? Who would do the work?"
"Sick. Who has time to get sick! exclaimed Mary. "But if I did get sick, someone else would do the work, I suppose."
"You
know something, Mary, I used to be like you. I worked night and day and
of course on weekends. When I got home I was exhausted but I would push
myself and read my children a bedtime story. By the time I went to bed,
I would be more than exhausted. The boss I had was very demanding. She
was there early in the morning, late at night, and she always worked
weekends. I felt I had to do the same - I needed the job to help
support my family - just as you did. But then I had a change of bosses.
The man I worked for was older and much wiser, I might add! Of course,
I continued to work the hours I had been working. One day he came to my
desk and passed me a card that had a quote on it which said, 'What I do
today is important, because I will never have today again' - then he
left.
I sat there stunned. I suddenly thought of what was
important to me. While my work was important, I realized my children
were more important. I also realized that time for me was important. It
was 4:30, the official closing time of the office. I straightened my
desk, felt a twinge of guilt about leaving, but I forced myself to
leave. I was home by 5:00. My children and husband were surprised. I
had a wonderful evening. It was not a chore to read that bedtime story
that evening."
Mary was looking at her friend thoughtfully and then questioned Susan about the work she had left on her desk.
Susan
replied, "I never thought this possible, but I actually accomplished
more the next day then I had in weeks. As I was leaving the next day I
stopped at my new boss's office and thanked him for the quote. He told
me a story about advice his dad had given him many years ago when he
was working night and day. He referred to it as 'Balance of Life'. His
dad told him to keep balance in his work, in his family life and in
time for himself. He explained to me, while all aspects of our life are
important, without a balance, you become addicted and like all
addictions you lose -
- no balance with your family - you lose them
- no balance with your work - you lose your perspective and you actually lose focus on the important aspects of your job.
-
no balance with yourself - you forget who you are and when you retire
you have nothing! Or worse than that, if you lose your job through a
company sale or downsizing you lose your identity.
He went on to
tell me that who we are is NOT what we do to make a living. Who we are
is a balance of our family, our work, ourselves! It truly was the best
advice I ever received."
Mary took a drink of her tea and tearfully looked at her friend, "But I would never get my work done if I left at 4:30!"
Susan
looked thoughtfully at her, "When you go to work on Monday, look at
what you have on your desk. Make a list of everything you have to get
done and beside that list write the impact of not doing it. Then focus
only on the top three items that have the most impact. Do that everyday
for a week. At first, you will find it difficult to leave. But, after
awhile, you will find that you will have more energy, and you will be
more focused in your work because you have BALANCE! There are times
when we have to lose balance - a special project at work, or a family
matter at home - but consciously focusing on balance keeps everything
in check."
Mary smiled at her friend, "Thanks for talking with
me. We have been friends for so long. Thank heavens I have balance with
your friendship! You have convinced me. I will leave the work in my
briefcase this weekend. On Monday, I will make the list first thing.
Perhaps next weekend, I will have the time to go golfing with you!"
"Balance of Life" - important for us ALL!
Catherine Pulsifer
Catherine is one of the editors of Words of Wisdom 4 U, www.wow4u.com.
You will find a collection of motivational thoughts, stories, quotes,
poems, smiles, proverbs, and more at Words of Wisdom 4 U!
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