 If you’ve come to Bavaria with a job lined up, then good for you!
You’ve got an instant support network and something to keep you busy.
But if you’ve come here with a significant other or without any job
prospects, you’ve got entirely different challenges ahead...
I have followed my spouse to two countries, first to Japan and now to
Germany, and I’ve had to learn everything the hard way. Here are some
suggestions that should make your transition a little easier...
Do
Entertainment
Bring entertainment from home. Stock up in advance on books, magazines
and DVD’s. Although international publications are available in
Bavaria, they’re not cheap and not always easy to find outside of the
city. If you can afford it, consider investing in satellite television
to supplement your local German programming. Trust me, on the days when
you just need to escape; a little entertainment in your native language
will go a long way.
Routine
Establish a routine as quickly as possible. Take language lessons, go
to the gym or set a weekly date with a friend, but try and create a
schedule that you can stick with until you feel more settled. During
times of upheaval in your life, it helps to have a little stability.
Explore
Locate banks, doctors, hair salons, post offices, cinemas and useful
shops. Poke your head in the door and see if they speak any English
(important until you learn German). I also recommend sight-seeing
tours. They’re a fun way to get to know the city. I was too intimidated
to explore Japan when I first arrived and the task only became more
daunting as time went by. I missed out on many opportunities as a
result. You’ll be amazed at how much you can discover if you just put
yourself out there.
Study
Language lessons give you a purpose, a chance to meet people and a
sense of independence. Plus, you’ll earn the respect of the locals. So
whether you take a community class or an intensive language course -
get studying!
Network
Join international clubs and start meeting people. Explore the
‘Communities’ section of this website to find a listing of clubs and
organizations in your area. You’re sure to find a group that suits you.
(Look out for our upcoming profiles on Munich clubs!)
Find a purpose
Faced with empty days, you may be tempted to fill your time with every
activity going. But this quick-fix solution will leave you deflated and
uninspired. Instead, decide what you would really like to do and take
steps to get involved in those activities. You’re days will be more
rewarding and you may discover a hidden talent along the way!
Utilize the Internet
The Internet can be a lifeline to the outside world for expatriates.
Here are ways I’ve used the internet while living abroad: E-mail,
ordering magazines and books, taking distance-learning courses,
connecting with other expatriates or just looking for words of
encouragement. This website is filled with useful information and I
encourage you to take full advantage of the resources available.
Someone else has done all of the work, now it’s up to you to put it to
good use.
Exercise
We all know it’s good for us, but for the expatriate, good physical and
mental health are essential. In the beginning, we’re bombarded with
stressful situations and good health can help us cope. Can’t get
motivated? Set mini-goals for yourself. Walk around the neighbourhood
once a day, and then build from there. When you feel in control of your
body, you feel more in control of your life.
Believe in Yourself
No matter how desperate some days may seem, you can survive your
experience abroad and have a good time in the process. Eventually
you’ll develop friendships and interests - just like you did back home
- but a fulfilling life takes time to cultivate. On difficult days, try
and remember that you’re not alone. There are thousands of expatriates
in Bavaria sharing your struggles. You may be experiencing culture
shock (see ‘Culture Shock’ article in the ‘Integration’ section of this
website). If, however, you can’t seem to shake the blues, consider
consulting a professional (preferably in your native language). They’re
available and they’re ready to help.
DON’T
Don’t gossip
Even in big cities, expatriate communities are very small and prone to
gossip. Whatever you do, don’t participate. People who are adjusting to
a new culture can be particularly vulnerable and gossip can damage
their reputation and their self-esteem. Get to know people before you
make judgements about them and never trust a gossip with personal
information. Chances are if they’re talking about someone else, then
they’re talking about you. You don’t want to end up as the main topic
of discussion at the next coffee morning. Your best bet is to avoid
gossips altogether. In a small network of people, you never know who
may be listening.
Don’t waste your time with hurtful people
Expatriate communities are filled with people from different social
classes and income levels. It’s not uncommon to meet individuals who
derive satisfaction from making others feel less worthy. Fortunately,
they’re the minority. Surround yourself with people who will enrich
your life. The others aren’t worth your time.
Don’t take your frustrations out on your spouse
O.K., I know, easier said than done even at the best of times. However,
expatriate life can put a tremendous strain on relationships,
especially if one person is unhappy. But your spouse may not be the
real problem. Step back from the situation and try to gain perspective.
Remove your spouse from the equation and honestly address your
feelings. Are you still unhappy, depressed or unsatisfied? Then perhaps
the problem lies in your own lack of fulfilment. Ask yourself what
would make you happy then take positive steps to make it happen. Once
again, if you can’t seem to pull yourself out of the rut you’re in,
consider consulting a reputable professional. Hopefully, though, a few
simple changes will help restore your sense of well-being and both you
and your spouse will benefit.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes
After nearly five years in Japan, I still managed to make mistakes. Two
weeks before we were scheduled to move, my husband and I went to a
Karaoke Bar. I removed my shoes, as is customary in Japan, and my dear
husband handed me an attractive pair of slippers to wear. To my
surprise, they were comfortable, stylish and a perfect fit. I was
feeling quite pleased.
We shuffled to our private karaoke room, chose a few songs and were
singing our hearts out when the manager came running in. She looked at
me, looked at my feet, then left, laughing all the way out the door.
She returned a few minutes later with a pair of plastic, lime-green
slippers and handed them to me. She explained that I had taken a young
girl’s outdoor shoes (I swear they looked like slippers!) and that she
would like them back. I was mortified. The good news is that, despite
my embarrassment, I survived the situation and now have a very funny
anecdote to tell at parties. Remember, there’s a story in everything
you do, so don’t be afraid to get it wrong once in a while - we can
always use the material for this website!
 Theresa Mills
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First Steps 
